There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about my son. He's been gone for four long agonizing years now. Every single day my heart aches to know him, to know what kind of little boy he would be. To see his personality blossom to know that he was my sweet little loving boy. I miss him so much. Every part of me misses him. Every part of me just wants more. I loved him so so much, I still love him, but he's gone so the love that I have for him feels as if there's no place for it to go. I hold on to it because in a way i feel like its me holding on to him.
In september he would be starting kindergarten. The time i would have had him all to my self would be coming to an end and i would be getting ready to send him off to the school. We missed being able to go on the bus ride the other day. You know the one ive gone on with all the kids where they get so excited that they get to ride the big yellow school bus for the first time. We missed that. I missed that. All the things we will never get to do. All the times i could be doing this or that.
There isn't a day that goes by where i don't think about him, or how much i love and miss him. There isn't a day that goes by where i wish i still had him. where i wish i could hug him hold him kiss him.
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