She walks through everyday trying her best to not break. She’s often told how very strong she is but she doesn’t feel that way this week. The truth is she’s both strong and very weak. She carries a burden she shouldn’t have to, keeping it to herself because it is so hard. She’s put her self back together tiny shard by shard. She’s been shattered and crushed beyond belief. Her entire world crashed and crumbled all around her. Her child was taken in his sleep. She often wonders why it wasn’t her. Why did it have to be this way. It’s not the natural way of life, a mother shouldn’t have to bury her child. She shouldn’t have to think about funeral arrangements eternal outfits and final resting place. Her heart does nothing but race. She wants to feel her child in her embrace. She longs to see her child’s face. Now all she’s has is memories and pictures. She took more than most ever would, but now they are treasured as they should.. she loved her baby with all she was. Now she grieves with all she is. The battle between life and death fought while holding on by just a thread. Everyday she grieves her loss wether or not you see her struggle or her loss.. She holds on to all she has fearing it could happen again. She’d take their place if she could so they could live the life they should. The strength you see keeps you in awe but the grief she carries keeps her withdrawn. How could she enjoy her life when his was cut so short and final.? The dreams she had are now just sorrow. She misses her child every day and every tomorrow. You see her as strong, but to her that seems more than wrong.. she needs your understanding and your grace so she can still put on her brave face. You may not know what she is going through and she will do everything to shield you from her truth. She knows it’s hard to understand how a baby had to leave yet we still stand.. it’s hard for her to fathom let alone explain to you at random. So she holds it in so you don’t have to grasp the loss that she endured.. she may seem strong to you today but really it’s up to her to say. Allow her to breathe because with every breath she will grieve. She’s stuck between wanting to leave and wanting to thrive, but her heart has an enormous hole how can she strive? She takes it day by day and even hour by hour because she still gives her hope and faith all the power. She is a grieving mother. Please understand.
