Remember who you are

Rafiki: [after guiding Simba to a spot where he says will show him Mufasa] Look down there.
Adult Simba: [looks into a pool of water] That's not my father. That's just my reflection.
Rafiki: No, look harder.
[touches the water, as it ripples Simba's reflection changes to that of his father]
Rafiki: You see? He lives in you.
Mufasa's ghost: [from above] Simba.
Adult Simba: Father?
Mufasa's ghost: [apears among the stars] Simba, you have forgotten me.
Adult Simba: No. How could I?
Mufasa's ghost: You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life.
Adult Simba: How can I go back? I'm not who I used to be.
Mufasa's ghost: Remember who you are. You are my son, and the one true king. Remember...

Adult Simba: I know what I have to do. But going back will mean facing my past. I've been running from it for so long.
[Rafiki hits Simba on the head with his stick]
Adult Simba: Ow! Jeez, what was that for?
Rafiki: It doesn't matter. It's in the past.
[laughs]
Adult Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts.
Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the from way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it.
[swings his stick at Simba again who ducks out of the way]
Rafiki: Ha. You see? So what are you going to do?
Adult Simba: First, I'm gonna take your stick.
[Simba snatches Rafiki's stick and throws it and Rafiki runs to grab it]
Rafiki: No,no, not the stick! Hey, where you going?
Adult Simba: I'm going back!
Rafiki: Good! Go on! Get out of here!
[Rafiki begins laughing and screeching loudly]



Ahh the Lion King probably one of my all time favorite movies. This is probably my favorite part of the movie, that Mufasa telling his son Remember who you are. Then reality sets in and simba knows what he has to do, along comes Rafiki, smacks him upside the head and his comment It doesn't matter its in the past. To me its that moment of realization, that moment of AHHA its like we all go through it at some point. We all have that "Rafiki moment" to smack us up side the head, and guess what it doesn't matter its in the past. Its time to move forward, grab the task ahead and push on. Do we want to not always.

I know right now the last place I want to be is here in the hospital, the last thing I want to think about is  all the stress and all the situations over the last year that got me to where I am today. I know I need to take the time to reflect, and take the time to "remember who I am". After all it is how we are shaped and remembering helps us to not make the same mistakes again, it even helps us with proceeding down a road we have already been down so that we can grow stronger and learn more about ourselves. It helps us discover our strengths and weaknesses, and to build upon them.

Life isn't easy and it certainly isn't fair, but we aren't going to get anywhere if we continue to hide from our past. I'm learning to put one foot in front of the other, I'm learning that I am stronger then I give myself credit for. I said I wouldn't survive going through another baby in the NICU, but here I am day 5 and I am still standing, and even though I feel like everything around me is crumbling, I'm still surviving this time its worse, and yes it hurts and yes its crazy but I'm getting through it. I'm learning that even when I feel weak, I can be stronger then strong. I can stand up to the bullies, I can stand up to the guilt and the people who are trying to put me down. Yes, I'd rather not have to go through all the garbage people are throwing at me ON top of whats already happening but I'm surviving, and remembering who I am, a good mother, good wife, and a strong woman. I don't need to find myself I may need to find the strength but I am remembering and holding on to who I am.

I was asked that a couple days ago Who are you? The other day I didn't have a response. However,  I was asked that again today, and today I said I am a mom who is protecting her child. Its my job and like it or not as my husband would say you mess with the bull you get the horns. I'm not going to let anyone put me down or try to take me down further. Much like Simba i am standing up to the "Scar" in my life and taking back what is rightfully mine, being who I am and remembering where I came from, taking my place in the circle. I may not be exactly who I used to be but I don't have to be I don't have to be what everyone remembers as me, after all I have grown up I have changed I am learning from my past. I am the queen of my house though and anyone who tries to get in my way watch out.