I can never look at a sleeping child the same way again. If a nap is longer then I think it should be my heart gallops to the wrong conclusion. The rush of anxiety that overcomes me and makes me rush to see that they are still breathing still living still with me.
I can never look at pregnancy the same. I can be happy for those who have that life growing with in them but the thoughts of all that can go wrong plague my thoughts. The fear for that mother to never have to experience what i have.
The hope for what was to be is gone the joy of watching that life unfold before me taken. Stolen. A piece of me, a very large piece of who I am who I was lost that day.
The joy of new life the innocence that new life brings to you all stolen. And never ever to be the same because I know what it's like to lose I know what it's like to have it all taken away and my heart breaks for that innocence gone from me.
